Imposter Syndrome
Am I Actually an Author? (Or Have I Just Been Lucky So Far?)
On completion of my novel Rooinek, and after selling my first hundred copies, I found myself in a rather unexpected place.
Not pride.
Not relief.
Not even the urge to frame the Amazon page and send it to distant relatives.
No—what crept in instead was a quiet, persistent thought:
Hang on… have I somehow got away with this?
Can I really call myself an author because I wrote and sold a few books?
Or is “author” reserved for people who do this full-time?
It’s a strange thing.
For five years, I chipped away at this book. Early mornings, late evenings, the odd burst of inspiration followed by long stretches of wondering why I’d started in the first place. At no point during that did I question whether I was “allowed” to write. You just… write.
But the moment it’s finished—properly finished, out there in the world, with actual people reading it—that’s when the doubt arrives. It's almost as if your brain taps you on the shoulder and says: "Right. Now that this is real… are you sure you’re qualified for it?"
The Quiet Arrival of Imposter Syndrome
It turns out this isn’t just me.
There’s a well-documented little gremlin known as imposter syndrome—a psychological tendency to believe that your achievements are down to luck, timing, or some clerical error in the universe.
You discount the hard work, minimise the result, and you quietly brace yourself to be “found out”.
What’s particularly interesting is that it tends to show up after you’ve done something meaningful—not before.
You don’t feel like an imposter when you haven’t written a book.
You feel like one when you have.
There’s also something psychologists call an identity lag. Your reality updates faster than your sense of self.
- Reality: You’ve written and published a novel
- Identity: “I’m someone trying to write a novel”
The two don’t quite line up yet, and your brain doesn’t like the mismatch.
So it fills the gap with doubt.
So… What Actually Is an Author?
Strip away the marketing, the bestseller lists, and the romantic image of someone typing away in a candlelit study, and the definition becomes surprisingly simple:
An author is someone who has written, completed, and shared a piece of work.
That’s it.
Not:
- Someone who earns a living from it
- Someone with a publisher’s logo on the spine
- Someone who sells thousands of copies
Just someone who has done the work—and had the courage to put it out into the world.
By that definition, calling yourself an author isn’t a stretch.
It’s just… accurate.
The Problem with Comparison
Part of the issue, I suspect, is that we compare our inside to everyone else’s outside.
We see:
- Polished books
- Confident author bios
- Social media posts announcing “exciting news”
What we don’t see is:
- The messy drafts
- The self-doubt
- The quiet moments of thinking, this is probably rubbish
So it feels like everyone else is legitimate, and you’ve somehow wandered in uninvited.
When in reality, most of them are likely thinking the exact same thing.
A Slightly Uncomfortable Truth
There is no official moment where someone taps you on the shoulder and says:
Congrats. You are now an Author.
There's no certificate, ceremony or secret handshake.
At some point, you just have to accept it yourself.
Which, frankly, feels a bit suspicious.
Where I’ve Landed (For Now)
I’m still getting used to it.
There are moments where saying “I’ve written a novel” feels solid and real.
And others where it feels like I’m describing someone else entirely.
But I think that’s part of the process.
Not a sign that you’re a fraud—
but a sign that you’ve stepped into something new, and your identity is catching up.
So, am I an author?
I wrote the book.
I finished it.
I put it out into the world.
And a hundred people—real people—have read it.
That probably answers the question.
Even if part of me is still double-checking the door to make sure no one asks for my credentials on the way out.
If you'd like to read it, you can find it here on this link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/ROOINEK-Outsiders-Brutal-Redemption-Africa-ebook/dp/B0GF4M5FW4 A paperback version is also available.
So to all those budding authors writing their first books or have written them I hope this helps.